Yes, I do think you are correct on fandom in general. I came from bandom before this, and that was probably the most well informed fandom I have ever set foot in. There was a lot of flexibility in almost every single pairing, and I adored that about it.

Speaking as a bi-sexual (leaning towards women) woman, who in my teen years had more gay friends than straight (by a large ratio...I spent every friday night at a teen gay club) I feel like I may have a bit of a better understanding than the general person in fandom, so I guess I try to give leeway to other writers? I don't know if I am making sense, I am rather tired, lol.

I think there should always be a stride to realistically portray people as people, even in the most AU of AU's. In the end, we are basing them off of people, and it should show. My point being that, this has every right to be an issue for you ficwise.

I think I will stop now though, because I am fairly certain my thoughts are not coming out coherently, haha. :D