Title: Like a Woman (Fairy Tale Remix)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sophie_448
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: J2
Word Count: 1092
Warnings: Genderwap, surprise!het (yeah, idk either)
Summary: Jared gets turned into a girl, and after that things really get weird.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] j2_remix. Original story: Woman Like a Man by [livejournal.com profile] rhythmsextion Hope you like it! Beta by the ever patient and wonderful [livejournal.com profile] waterofthemoon whom I owe so many cookies the world could not contain them all.

When Jared falls asleep, held close against Jensen’s chest, he’s not really thinking about getting turned back into a man. As exhaustion drags him down, he has a half-formed thought that this is it.


When she wakes up, she’s still a girl, but everything is different. She doesn’t feel wrong anymore, and she doesn’t miss her cock. She remembers. Everything.

She looks over at Jensen, sprawled naked beside her, with a sinking feeling. He is not going to like this. She reaches over and shakes his shoulder. “Jensen,” she says. He groans and buries his head deeper in the pillow. “Jensen,” she tries again, louder. “Jensen, wake up. This is important.”

He lifts his head, cracking one eye open. When he manages to focus on her, he drops his head again. “It didn’t work,” he says.

She takes a deep breath. “Oh, it worked. It just didn’t do what we thought it was going to do.”

“Jared,” Jensen mumbles at the pillow. “You are still a girl. Ergo, it didn’t work.”

“Jensen, please get up and listen to me,” she says, hating the tense whine that creeps into her voice. It works, though. Jensen grumbles, but he drags himself upright.

“Okay, okay, I’m listening. What is it?”

“It worked. Last night—it did what it was supposed to do.”

“Yeah, Jared, you said that. I’m still not seeing it.”

“This is going to sound crazy.”

“Crazier than you getting turned into a girl?”


Jensen lets out a low whistle. “Okay, hit me with it.”

She bites her lip. She’s afraid she’s about to lose her best friend, the man she loves. “My name isn’t Jared,” she says. “It’s Melissa.”

“Wait, wait. Hold on a minute, Jay. You don’t have to give up. We’ll fix this!”

Melissa shakes her head. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It is fixed. This is who I’m supposed to be. I was born Melissa Joy Padalecki. I pissed of a witch—I told you this was going to sound crazy—when I was eighteen. He turned me into a man as punishment. He said the spell would only be broken when I found someone who loved me for who I am, not what I look like.” She laughs a little. “I guess he’d never heard of bisexuality.”

Jensen looks a little shell-shocked, so Melissa tries again. “Jensen, I already turned into a girl. Are you going to tell me you don’t believe this after that?”

“But you’re Jared,” Jensen says, a pleading note in his voice.

“Jen, I’m still the same person. That was the whole point of the stupid curse. It wouldn’t have been broken unless you loved me, not what I look like.”

Jensen scrambles out of the bed. “I can’t—I need—I can’t deal with this right now,” he says, more to himself than Melissa. He scoops up articles of clothing from where they’re strewn haphazardly all over the floor.

“Jensen—” Melissa starts, but she’s talking to an empty room. She sighs heavily, her shoulders dropping in defeat. “That could have gone better.”

She calls her parents next. Her mom picks up on the first ring. “Melissa,” she says, choked up. “I am so glad to talk to my daughter again.”

“You didn’t know, did you? I mean, about me really being a girl.”

“Of course not, baby! We would have told you. We woke up this morning and remembered everything. I think it was a part of the spell. Very fairy tale cliché of him.”

Melissa’s startled into a laugh. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She lets her mom cry over her for a little while and waits while she passes the phone around to her dad and Megan. It’s at least a couple of hours before Melissa’s allowed to hang up, with explicit instructions to call Jeff right away.

“I will, don’t worry.” Thankfully, Jeff is a man of relatively few words, and she manages to keep that conversation to a half hour.

Jensen’s still not back after that, and Melissa tries not to freak out. She’s sure Jensen just needs some space. It’s one thing to be okay with your best guy friend being a girl if you think they’re going to change back eventually. It’s another thing to find out that she was actually a girl all along, and wow, that sounds fucked up even in her head. She tries his cell, and it goes straight to voicemail. She doesn’t throw her phone across the room.

Everything is better with coffee, so Melissa pulls on some clothes and goes down to the kitchen. When the caffeine is humming pleasantly through her veins and Jensen still isn’t back, she texts him. Call me, assface. Then she decides that breakfast will fix everything, but the scrambled eggs don’t actually make her feel much better. She thinks about calling Kripke, but if there’s one thing that will make her day about twelve billion times worse, it’s that conversation, so she doesn’t.

Melissa is playing Madden listlessly when Jensen comes through the door. She drops the controller and stands. Jensen seems stuck just over the threshold, staring. Melissa looks down and then back up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She tries to think of something to say to break the lengthening silence, but nothing comes to mind. She just looks at Jensen. He’s still beautiful—no shock there—and she still wants him as much as she did when she was Jared. But maybe Jensen doesn’t want Melissa. She waits.

A couple of really long seconds later, Jensen seems to break. He crosses the room in three big strides and wraps his arms around Melissa. He leans down and kisses her, hard and desperate, and she gasps against his mouth in relief and kisses back. Jensen pulls away after a minute but doesn’t let her go.

“I’m sorry,” he says, low and rough.

Melissa shakes her head. “It’s okay, I get it. It’s really fucking weird.”

Jensen cuts her off with another brief kiss. “No, it’s not. I should’ve—whatever. I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head, smiling a little. “All right, then. Apology accepted.” She pauses. “So we’re—”

“I love you,” Jensen says. “Not your body—well, you’re pretty hot, but you know what I mean—and not your name. It’s weird, but we’ll deal.”

Melissa buries her face against Jensen’s neck, and he holds her close. After a minute, she has a thought.

“Oh my god, the show! What are we—?”

Jensen laughs. “I’m sure Kripke can figure it out. He’s an evil genius, after all.”

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